Last Time I'll Be With You

I'm in New Jersey. I've been here since Thursday, visiting my folks. My Dad, Sy aka Seymour, is dying. Developed bladder cancer ten years ago and it has metastasized to his bones and he's now home with hospice care. Mom, who just finished chemo and radiation for her newly diagnosed breast cancer, is doing fine. Life is something, huh?

I go back home today.....so how do you say goodbye? I know I probably won't see him alive ever again. Though, he's been quite the fighter. He won't go down easy....never did, never will. Mom on the other hand is a woos. I got my tenderness for people from Mom, my tough edge from Dad. I'm a survivor cuz of Dad. I'm a lover cuz of Mom. I need both, and at this point in my life, they are both a part of me.....so I know I've gotten all the lessons I'll need in life that Dad can offer. Now all I want is time. But in a few more hours, that will be gone.

Dad grew up in Brownsville, Brooklyn, New York. He was a child in the middle of the Depression. Got food from the bread lines. Was raised by a single Mom, who actually kicked her cruel husband out years before, but he came back and raped her.........ps,, Dad was born 9 months later. So, all these years that I saw the tough side of Dad, who was tough as a Father and Husband, I gave him leeway. I understood. He had unresolved anger in him, yet he always sparkled for me. He was an extremely handsome man, people asked me if he was my older brother...it's why people think I'm younger than I really am--thanks for those genes Dad.

And while I'm at it Dad, Thanks.....
...for supporting our family as best as you could with only a JHS education,
...for yelling at the speeding cars that went by the backyard where we played,
...for passing on to me your love of building things,
...for giving Mom the first flower that bloomed in our garden,
...for teaching me how to drive that humongous station wagon,
...for your love and respect of Judaism,
...for your love of the Yankees only because they had a player with our last name,
...for loving my grandmother (Mom's Mother) and letting her live with us til the day she died,
...for not letting boys in my bedroom,
...for making me take a car mechanic course in HS,
...for helping me leave you with no guilt after your heart surgery, back to Illinois to be with my new husband 26 yrs ago,
...for the unconditional love you have for my children,
...for my conviction to do whatever it takes in life to get through.

I'll miss you bunches.....but I will survive.